“Love is Everything” ~ Janell Bartlett
Oh how I love love. I believe in love above all else. I am lucky enough to be completely and totally, utterly in love with my husband, and the beautiful thing is that I know he feels exactly the same way. But as much as we both love each other, it still is not always easy to maintain such a happy relationship. All relationships take time, effort, and nourishment…especially those that you hold most dear.
As you know, we have a beautiful baby boy who just turned one (amazing how time flies!). In addition to that, we opened our own business this year (Kempo Fitness), I am in school for dietetics, and then there are all my life projects (fitness videos, this blog, and creating the “Move Your Feet Week” program to name a few). Our life is crazy! But the thing is, in this day and age everyone’s life is crazy. We have so many things to fill our time with, and we are all pulled in so many directions, sometimes it’s hard to really set aside time to feed your relationships.
Today, my husband and I spent the entire day together…it was amazing, but it was a choice. This afternoon my husband wanted to go for a run, something I really was not in the mood to do, but I did because I wanted to spend more time with him. I chose us. The run, it was okay, but being with him…that was wonderful. And he was so happy and grateful that I came along.
When we got home, our little guy decided he wanted to go for a ride in his wagon. Since I love going for walks, being outside, and enjoying nature, another walk for the day was good. My husband on the other hand would rate going on a walk as one of his least favorite things to do. But today he came along because he wanted to spend more time together; he chose us. For him, the walk was okay, but being with me and with our son….that was wonderful. And I was so happy and grateful that he came along.
In both instances, we chose each other. We chose to do something that we weren’t super excited about so that we could support one another, spend time together, and nourish our relationship.
In addition, it is important to actually share with your loved one how much it means to you that they chose to nurture your relationship.
You want to say things such as:
“It really means a lot to me that you ________”
“I really enjoy spending time with you”
“I really appreciate you”
“Thank you for coming along”
Just telling your loved one how much they mean to you and how much you appreciate them (their help, their time…etc) will go miles and miles toward maintaining a happy relationship. Case in point, my husband was just reading this blog and his immediate response was “just hearing how much you appreciate me motivates me to do even more”. Important caveat though: you must be genuine and actually speak from your heart when you tell your spouse how wonderful they are.
To maintain (or grow) a happy and wonderful relationship it’s often these little choices that will feed and strengthen the connection the most. Yes, some of the big things are nice every now and then (big date, big trip, big gift), but it’s all the little choices to chose each other, to be with each other and show that you love each other, that provide the daily fuel for love, happiness, and a successful relationship.
So the next time your loved one would like you to join along with them, will you chose the craziness of life…or each other?